Communication with my parents

"I have a box of your brothers stuff which I will leave outside your apartment this week. Do You have room for his bike?"

This is the message my husband received today on torn piece of cardboard. The note was given to him by my father.  

Our reply via email.

''I'm sorry we do not have space to store his stuff in our apartment. Please do not leave it on our doorstep. If we find it there we will have to return it.

This is the first communication we have had with my parents since I gave birth.

This is the email I would have liked to send instead.

Dear Aba and Mummy,

This is the first message you chose to send us three months after we had a baby. A scrap of paper letting us know you want to rid yourself of any reminders that you once had children. Sons and daughters you once claimed to love. 
Where is the mazel tov? Where is the need to know how your new grandchild is doing? Do you not care? Do you really think you can pretend you never had children?

Do you know I started laughing when your son in law brought this note home to me? It was not a laughter of joy, but a laughter of pain. What other reaction would be suitable for such an occasion? Cry? The tears have dried up a long time ago.

Do you believe that eliminating all signs that we once lived in your house will help you forget us?

I pray everyday that I can wipe away the past. Yet I plagued by nightmares and filled with memories. Memories that make me wish I could forget my childhood. Nightmares that leave me shaking in fear.

Yet for some reason I can't understand somewhere deep inside me I still have a dream. A dream that things can be different. A dream that my daughter can have grandparents who will love and care for her. A dream I still cling to even though I am aware will never happen.

In reality I know it is not a dream but a fantasy. 

Sarah.