I was having a hard time at home. You approached me, promised to help me. I opened up to you. Confided in you. You told me I could trust you. I believed you.
I vividly remember the first time you touched me. We sat on that living room couch of yours and I bared my heart to you. You said you felt so close to me. You wanted to show how much you loved me.
My mind refused to acknowledge the abuse. I felt nothing. I was numb. I went to a place inside myself that you could not reach.
I was young and naive. I let my guard down. I thought I was safe with you. You preyed on my vulnerability. You knew I had no one else to turn to.
Sometimes at night I lie in bed and I think about you. I wonder if you ever lie in bed and think about me? Have you once thought about the consequences of your actions?
I spent years ashamed and embarrassed. I felt guilty, believing it was my fault. I looked up to you. I respected you. I blamed myself for needing you.
You stole a part of me. The little bit of trust I had left you took that from me. School was my safe place and you ruined it for me.
Why did you do it? Why me? Do you know how much pain you caused me? Did you enjoy the power over me? Did you want to hurt me? Did you ever care about me? Was I just someone to be used? Did I mean anything to you?
I spent a long time searching for answers, digging up suppressed memories buried deeply in my mind. I know now it was not my fault.
I have a loving husband and a beautiful daughter now. I am studying to get a degree in psychology so one day I can help children who have been abused. I am making something of myself. I have reclaimed the power you took from me. I have let go the shame and guilt that was pulling me down. I am moving forward.
You may have tainted my past but you will not hold me back from my future.
