I have some memories...

-I'm 5 years old. My big sister is in trouble she did something bad. Mummy is screaming at her a lot. Really screaming at her and slapping her hard. She drags her to the bathroom takes the soap and forces it into my big sister's mouth. Scraps it really hard on her teeth. Really hard till there is no more soap left. My big sister is crying and asking her to stop. She wont she is to angry. She tells my big sister to pack her bags, she has to leave. Doesn't want her as a daughter anymore. Mummy tells us that a lot and makes us pack our bags but she never actually made us leave. But tonight she does. Tells her to leave and not come back. My big sister took her suitcase with her. She is gone. I'm scared. I want my big sister back. What if Mummy makes us leave to?

- I'm 11 years old. Shopping in a mall with mummy and my little sister. My little sister wants something and asks Mummy if she can have it. Mummy is not in a good mood. She slaps my little sister hard for daring to ask for something. A man stops and tells her she should not be hitting her children. Mummy tells him to mind his own business. Her daughter asked for something she knows she can't afford. The man says to tell her that no need to hurt her she is just a kid maybe she doesn't understand. It makes sense to me. Sounds simple. But it is never like that. Mummy is mad and so angry you can feel it. She drags us back to the car in silence that is when you know she is really mad. We get home she is angry, extremely angry. Mummy is hitting and slapping my little sister really hard. She embarrassed her in the shop today. My little sister has bruises on her face the next day can't go to school. Mummy keeps her home and she has to clean the house all day.

- I'm 10 years old. Shabbos afternoon coming back home from Shabbos group. Walking down the street on my own. I hate doing that there is 2 massive horse dogs that live nearby. I'm petrified of dogs got bitten by one when I was 5. I can see them in the distance 2 big dogs I'm scared. They smell my fear. They start running towards me. I start walking a little quicker. The dogs are catching up to me. I start running suddenly they are chasing me. I've never run so fast in my life 2 huge dogs almost as big as me chasing me I'm petrified. I'm screaming really loud the whole street can hear me. Mummy hears me comes outside. I can see her in the distance. Why isn't she coming to rescue me? The dogs are biting my clothes. A car passes by stops a man gets out. He whistles to the dogs. He gets them into his car. They are gone. Run home Mummy goes inside. I ask her why she didn't come and take them away from me. I can't remember the reason she gave me. Later she tell me I deserved the scare was a good punishment for something I did.

These are some painful memories. Memories that make up my past. But I will not let my past define me I will move forward. I will make new memories. Nice memories that will one day be my daughters.